The Five Sons

(or “Five Children” for which ever Matriach might get frazzled…let us remember that Hebrew, much like Spanish or Italian, has a “Male” or a “Female” gender for every word…this is not done to diminish the value of Women in the telling of Yitziat Mitzrayim—The Exodus—for were it not for the courageous defiance of The Midwives, Shifra and Puah, in refusing to kill the male babies as Pharoah had commanded then certainly none of us would be here to recount their glory on this day)

As a kid I remember Pesach Seders at Home with various family friends, all of whom would be inevitably harassed and bothered by my best friend Gabriel and I. Gabriel was slightly craftier than I, or perhaps it was just that he knew when to stop, or maybe it was just poor luck, but it seemed as though it was always myself who got into trouble for our various shenanigans. At these Seders, there were a few notable highlights—fighting to find the Afikomen all throughout the house only to discover that Gabe’s Dad had hidden it in his pocket so that it crumbled into a sweaty nothingness, “The Pharoah Rap” in which Gabe and I combined some sort of hip-hop stylings with non-hilarious slant rhymes of questionable educational value, and recounting the allegorical “Four Sons” in which Gabe and I would argue whom was the wickeder child.

The First Son, The Chacham, is most often called “The Wise Son,” but this translation is missing the essence of the Chacham. As Rashi notes in his commentary to Sefer Shmot, “Chochma” is the wisdom that we get from divine inspiration. The Chacham sees the beauty of the Pesach Seder and connects with his creator, craving more. He knows that the Seder is missing something and even though it has been nearly 2000 years since the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, The Chacham knows that our Temple will be rebuilt and that Hashem will bring his people out of Exile. Therefore we are instructed to teach The Chacham about the Laws of the Pesach Sacrifice for it is he who will merit seeing the rebuilding of the Temple and the reinstatement of the Korban Pesach.

The Second Son is The Rasha. The English Hagadah will not doubt call him “The Wicked Son” which is unfortunate as The Rasha is different from our concept of a Wicked Fellow—unlike Lord Licorice in Candy Land, Skeletor in He-Man, and Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore. This Wicked Son is more like Fredo in The Godfather, or Johnny Damon/Wade Boggs/Roger Clemens and any of the other shmucks who fled Boston for the money of New York—one who has seen the proverbial “Light” and yet for some reason, specifically his own selfish ambitions, will turn his back on The Truth and seek to separate himself from what he knows to be Right. The Rasha will ask “What does the Pesach Seder mean to you,” thereby isolating himself from his people because he thinks that he knows better. Our Sages teach us that begging him to come back will only increase his inflated ego and that the only way to deal with such a child is to put him in his place. We therefore let The Rasha know, “Had you been in Egypt, you would not have been saved!” For as Rashi tells us, 4/5 of Israel remained in Egypt because they were too attached to their material goods and their “enlightened society.” Rather than leave for Israel as their creator had commanded them, they knew better and remained behind, only to be lost in The Plague of Darkness. When we tell this to The Rasha, he will be forced to choose between the emptiness of Rolexes and Cocaine and Cheerleaders and the beauty of the Pesach Seder and the Torah of our Ancestors that has sustained us for thousands of years!

The Third and Fourth Child are quite similar really. One is merely the natural progression of the other. The Tam, The Simple One, will come to the Seder and think to himself, “Man, this seder is funny, we got all sorts of crazy stuff on the table and everyone is singing songs that I don’t really understand and this bread is pretty crummy, but its cool to be Jewish Tonight.” The Tam recognizes that something about being a part of Am Yisrael is special Tonight, but he doesn’t know exactly what it is. It’s not his fault that he doesn’t get it; it was never really explained to him. Therefore you hit him with the Beauty of the Basics—"There is a Creator and He Loves Us! If we serve him, he will redeem us again B’Yad Hazakah!" The Fourth Son is tougher to deal with. He is like the third son but knows even less about his heritage. He doesn’t ask questions about the Pesach Seder because he doesn’t even know where to begin. This guy knows that he’s Jewish, but the tradition hasn’t really had a chance to penetrate his skull because he never shows up for anything. Therefore we tell Benjamin Disraeli, Madeline Albright, and Kevin Youkillis, “Its Ok to be Jewish! You have nothing to be ashamed of! Show up next Shabat for lunch and I’ll feed you some of my Mom’s Chillunt and we’ll talk some Torah!”

It’s frightening how much of Am Yisrael is slipping through the cracks. In addition to the various threats of Nuclear War against the State of Israel and growing Physical Anti-Semitism that threaten our bodies, We are in the midst of a Spiritual Holocaust that is eating away at our very souls. Millions of our brothers and sisters are “Unaffiliated” 3rd and 4th Sons for whom being Jewish means only fasting on Yom Kippur and being guilted into showing up for Pesach Seder. But even more frightening are the numbers of “Fifth Sons” who do not even know that they are Jewish. Thousands of families in Southern Lebanon carry Jewish names and Jewish Genes, Millions of Jews remain in Russia where having a Brit Milah was outlawed for generations, and in America a staggering percentage of Jewish children are brought up without any knowledge of their beautiful heritage. When Moses returned from Har Sinai to find The Gold Calf in the midst of Am Yisrael he said “Whomever is for Hashem, come to me!” This rallying cry still resonates today and If we actively seek Torah, we will be strengthened and merit redemption ourselves, for indifference is the greatest weapon of the Spiritual Holocaust. May we all be inspired with Hochma to see the beauty of Torah and may we conquer our inner Rasha to avoid another year of wandering further from Our Path. May we merit a swift redemption and be together for The Pesach Seder in Yerushalayim in the coming year: L’Shanah HaBah Berushalayim!
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The image is copywrite to R.Goldstein and it's showing does not imply there is any connection between the family portrayed and the contents of the article that follows"

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