This Scary World

I was trying to think about a situation that might be scarier than going to my local swimming pool to do some laps and finding a 12-foot tiger cruising around in the lane next to me. About all I could come up with was being an elementary school student in a city that has been targeted by thousands of kassam rockets and hit nearly every day for the past six months.

Imagine going to school and finding your soccer field with a huge hole right where the goalie should have been standing. Imagine waiting in line for an ice cream at the corner stand and watching as the guy pumping gas across the street gets blown to smithereens. Now try to imagine how the world can condemn your government’s attempts to stop the terrorists who fire rockets at your city—the maniacs who act not indiscriminately, but with the express purpose of attacking the civilian population.

Welcome to Sderot—a small city in Southern Israel—and the site of Shirel Feldman’s funeral earlier this week after she was struck with a kassam rocket fired by Hamas and Fatah terrorists. Welcome to a world where Britain’s University and College Union—the largest association of “Enlightened” British Academics—votes for a comprehensive boycott of Israeli Universities. Remember that this is the same week in which of hundreds of peacefully-protesting Iranian Students were brutally beaten and arrested in the streets of Tehran by the Revolutionary Guards for belonging to Pro-Democracy organizations; the same month in which thousands of Native Sudanese were slaughtered in Darfur by Government-Sponsored Arab Militias. And yet sadly their cries were not heard because Britain's Elite was busy fighting the more important battle against "Apartheid Israel." What’s next from these tea-sipping ninnies? Protecting the "Free Speech" of Moqtada Al-Sadr as he praises the roadside bombs that slaughter Sunni and Kurdish civilians? Or perhaps it will be condemning Sesame Street for its lack of social welfare programs that leave homeless Oscar The Grouch to live in a trash can and schizophrenic Big Bird to continue his hallucinations of an imaginary friend named Snuffleupagus because the government wont subsidize his medications?


Lets get serious here for a moment. The Residents of Sderot are under constant attack and unfortunately it seems as though the Rest of the World has abandoned them. Whether Economically (by visiting and helping to support the struggling businesses of the city), Politically (call your local Congressman and tell him/her to Support Israel in her Necessary Self-Defense), or Spiritually (Say a Prayer for Tens of Thousands of People who could really use it), The People of Sderot Deserve our Support!

Yom Yerushalayim 2007

Chag Sameach!

Today is Yom Yerushalayim, A Day to Commemorate the Reunification of The Jewish People with their Holy City for the First Time in Nearly 2000 Years! This summer marks the 40th Anniversary of the Jewish People’s Return to Yerushalayim—the source of all Holiness in the world—the City from where “All the blessings and consolations, all of the good which the Holy One, Blessed Be He, brings to the Jewish people comes from” (Midrash Tehillim).

It was 40 years ago that a vastly outnumbered and outgunned Israeli Defense Force fought off the armies of six invading Arab Countries bent on the destruction of the Jewish People—as Syrian Broadcasting Reported, “Let us pave the road to Tel Aviv with Jewish Skulls.” And let us never forget that this victory, like a modern-day Chanukah, was won not by superior firepower, but by the same determination and enormous faith that has sustained us for 100 generations and will continue to sustain us for 100 more.

As we celebrate the victory of The Six Day War in 1967, it would be shortsighted to ignore the fact that Israel remains in a life-or-death struggle for its existence. In addition to the threats of a nuclear holocaust at the hands of Iran and of war with the Terrorist states of Syria and Lebanon, Israel is faced with the same existential problems that have plagued her since her conception—whether to be a State of Jews or whether to be a Jewish State; whether to be another Westernized Country waiting to join NATO or whether to be a “Light Unto The Nations.” Even with the horrendous failure of the Retreat from Southern Lebanon and the Disengagement from Gaza, the current Israeli government seeks to hand over even more territory to the Terrorist Groups of Hamas and Hezbollah. This craziness extends to the point where the notion of separating Yerushalayim—Heaven Forbid—has been suggested by various parties. Therefore as we celebrate Yom Yerushalayim, let us remember that to disengage from our Land and our Tradition is to receive Rocket-Attacks, War, and Suicide Bombings; but to live in Israel—and to Settle what the Zohar calls “The Heart of All Lands”—is to Merit Redemption.

Am Yisrael Chai!


For More on the Miracles of The Six Day War: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/More/ActivePage.aspx/JerDay
For More on Maintaining a United Jerusalem: http://www.onejerusalem.org/blog/index.asp

A Local Call

Howdy Everyone…

We here at Doctor Hazak Incorporated would like to express our most sincere apologies for having neglected our extraordinary fan base during the past few weeks. Following Passover, a number of happenings kept our staff from producing any Blog-Worthy Material (other than our lead writer's unprecedented 13-Round Knockout Victory over Former Heavyweight Champion Lennox Lewis) and due to resource-allocation difficulties and management-miscommunications the Blog was left without its normal driving force at the helm.

Anyways, in response to the overwhelming need for further Hazak in this world, we present you with these few words of wisdom from this week’s Torah Portion: Behar-Behukotai. Leviticus 25:38 reads, “I am Hashem your God, Who took you out of the land of Egypt, to give you the land of Canaan, to be a God unto you." In his commentary on the Torah, the great medieval scholar Rashi explains that God gave the land of Canaan to the Israelite nation as his part in the covenant at Mount Sinai; the same covenant in which Am Yisrael agreed to keep the 613 Commandments. Rashi then expounds the last part of the line, “To be a God unto you,” to mean, ‘anyone living in the land of Israel has Hashem as their God where as anyone living outside of Eretz Yisrael is comparable to an idolater.”

The obvious question of course, is how can Rashi say this? What about all of the great Jewish leaders who lived outside of Israel during the various Exiles? What about Rashi himself who lived in France (Clearly the Worst of the Nations)? The answer (with a dash of Kabalah to spice it up) is that amongst the nations of exile, God hides his face and it is necessary to go through various spiritual messengers (Malachim/Angels) for one’s prayers to reach Him. In Eretz Yisrael, God’s Splendor is tangible—If You Don’t Believe in Miracles Just Open Your Eyes (Rav Shimon Hurwitz Shlita)—and your can reach him directly. Forgive the overused metaphor but in Israel speaking with God is a Local Call.

So B’Kitzur—“to sum it up quickly”—The Jewish People’s Presence in The Land of Israel is contingent upon our following the laws of the Torah as given to Moshe Rabenu at Mt. Sinai; and get to Israel and make Aliyah before the Jerks at Verizon figure out at way to charge you seventy-five cents per minute for calling your Maker.

Link Time:
If you Missed out on Lag Ba’Omer and want to see what Hasidic Woodstock looks like: http://www.rashbimeron.org/
If you think that Arab Terrorism was at its lowest when they started sending suicide bombers to blow up Israeli night clubs then you haven’t met Hamas’ Mickey Mouse: http://memri.org/bin/latestnews.cgi?ID=SD157707

The Five Sons

(or “Five Children” for which ever Matriach might get frazzled…let us remember that Hebrew, much like Spanish or Italian, has a “Male” or a “Female” gender for every word…this is not done to diminish the value of Women in the telling of Yitziat Mitzrayim—The Exodus—for were it not for the courageous defiance of The Midwives, Shifra and Puah, in refusing to kill the male babies as Pharoah had commanded then certainly none of us would be here to recount their glory on this day)

As a kid I remember Pesach Seders at Home with various family friends, all of whom would be inevitably harassed and bothered by my best friend Gabriel and I. Gabriel was slightly craftier than I, or perhaps it was just that he knew when to stop, or maybe it was just poor luck, but it seemed as though it was always myself who got into trouble for our various shenanigans. At these Seders, there were a few notable highlights—fighting to find the Afikomen all throughout the house only to discover that Gabe’s Dad had hidden it in his pocket so that it crumbled into a sweaty nothingness, “The Pharoah Rap” in which Gabe and I combined some sort of hip-hop stylings with non-hilarious slant rhymes of questionable educational value, and recounting the allegorical “Four Sons” in which Gabe and I would argue whom was the wickeder child.

The First Son, The Chacham, is most often called “The Wise Son,” but this translation is missing the essence of the Chacham. As Rashi notes in his commentary to Sefer Shmot, “Chochma” is the wisdom that we get from divine inspiration. The Chacham sees the beauty of the Pesach Seder and connects with his creator, craving more. He knows that the Seder is missing something and even though it has been nearly 2000 years since the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash, The Chacham knows that our Temple will be rebuilt and that Hashem will bring his people out of Exile. Therefore we are instructed to teach The Chacham about the Laws of the Pesach Sacrifice for it is he who will merit seeing the rebuilding of the Temple and the reinstatement of the Korban Pesach.

The Second Son is The Rasha. The English Hagadah will not doubt call him “The Wicked Son” which is unfortunate as The Rasha is different from our concept of a Wicked Fellow—unlike Lord Licorice in Candy Land, Skeletor in He-Man, and Shooter McGavin in Happy Gilmore. This Wicked Son is more like Fredo in The Godfather, or Johnny Damon/Wade Boggs/Roger Clemens and any of the other shmucks who fled Boston for the money of New York—one who has seen the proverbial “Light” and yet for some reason, specifically his own selfish ambitions, will turn his back on The Truth and seek to separate himself from what he knows to be Right. The Rasha will ask “What does the Pesach Seder mean to you,” thereby isolating himself from his people because he thinks that he knows better. Our Sages teach us that begging him to come back will only increase his inflated ego and that the only way to deal with such a child is to put him in his place. We therefore let The Rasha know, “Had you been in Egypt, you would not have been saved!” For as Rashi tells us, 4/5 of Israel remained in Egypt because they were too attached to their material goods and their “enlightened society.” Rather than leave for Israel as their creator had commanded them, they knew better and remained behind, only to be lost in The Plague of Darkness. When we tell this to The Rasha, he will be forced to choose between the emptiness of Rolexes and Cocaine and Cheerleaders and the beauty of the Pesach Seder and the Torah of our Ancestors that has sustained us for thousands of years!

The Third and Fourth Child are quite similar really. One is merely the natural progression of the other. The Tam, The Simple One, will come to the Seder and think to himself, “Man, this seder is funny, we got all sorts of crazy stuff on the table and everyone is singing songs that I don’t really understand and this bread is pretty crummy, but its cool to be Jewish Tonight.” The Tam recognizes that something about being a part of Am Yisrael is special Tonight, but he doesn’t know exactly what it is. It’s not his fault that he doesn’t get it; it was never really explained to him. Therefore you hit him with the Beauty of the Basics—"There is a Creator and He Loves Us! If we serve him, he will redeem us again B’Yad Hazakah!" The Fourth Son is tougher to deal with. He is like the third son but knows even less about his heritage. He doesn’t ask questions about the Pesach Seder because he doesn’t even know where to begin. This guy knows that he’s Jewish, but the tradition hasn’t really had a chance to penetrate his skull because he never shows up for anything. Therefore we tell Benjamin Disraeli, Madeline Albright, and Kevin Youkillis, “Its Ok to be Jewish! You have nothing to be ashamed of! Show up next Shabat for lunch and I’ll feed you some of my Mom’s Chillunt and we’ll talk some Torah!”

It’s frightening how much of Am Yisrael is slipping through the cracks. In addition to the various threats of Nuclear War against the State of Israel and growing Physical Anti-Semitism that threaten our bodies, We are in the midst of a Spiritual Holocaust that is eating away at our very souls. Millions of our brothers and sisters are “Unaffiliated” 3rd and 4th Sons for whom being Jewish means only fasting on Yom Kippur and being guilted into showing up for Pesach Seder. But even more frightening are the numbers of “Fifth Sons” who do not even know that they are Jewish. Thousands of families in Southern Lebanon carry Jewish names and Jewish Genes, Millions of Jews remain in Russia where having a Brit Milah was outlawed for generations, and in America a staggering percentage of Jewish children are brought up without any knowledge of their beautiful heritage. When Moses returned from Har Sinai to find The Gold Calf in the midst of Am Yisrael he said “Whomever is for Hashem, come to me!” This rallying cry still resonates today and If we actively seek Torah, we will be strengthened and merit redemption ourselves, for indifference is the greatest weapon of the Spiritual Holocaust. May we all be inspired with Hochma to see the beauty of Torah and may we conquer our inner Rasha to avoid another year of wandering further from Our Path. May we merit a swift redemption and be together for The Pesach Seder in Yerushalayim in the coming year: L’Shanah HaBah Berushalayim!
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"The photo that heads this story was chosen at random from the internet.

The image is copywrite to R.Goldstein and it's showing does not imply there is any connection between the family portrayed and the contents of the article that follows"

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Accepting a Complement

Perhaps you remember Ex-NBA Allstar Michael Ray Richardson for his Magic Johnson-esque passing and scoring on the court. Perhaps you remember him as the only player to have ever been permanently banned from the NBA for repeatedly violating the league’s substance abuse policy. Perhaps you don’t remember him at all and that’s cool too, because it isn’t necessary to understand the rest of this article that focuses on his having dropped a few comments earlier this week that have been totally misinterpreted and blown out of proportion.

It all began when local newspaper reporters were asking Mr. Richardson—now the head coach of the CBA’s Albany Patroons—about contract negotiations between him and the organization. Richardson was quoted as saying, “I’ve got big-time Jew Lawyers,” for which he was immediately accused of Anti-Semitism. Obviously they weren’t listening to what was a most certainly a complement: that Jews are the Best Lawyers in The World and not to mess around! Mr. Richardson continued with a number of other complements that were unfortunately misinterpreted by the press. “If you look in most professional sports, they’re run by Jewish People. If you look at a lot of most successful corporations and stuff, more businesses, they’re run by Jews.” Mr. Richardson specifically added, “I think its great, I don’t think anything’s wrong with it,” so that no one would be confused of whether or not he was an Anti-Semite.

But unfortunately many Jews don’t know how to take a complement. Rather than thanking Mr. Richardson for his praise, he was lambasted for his ‘Intolerant and Offensive Statements’ and suspended from his job as coach of the Albany Patroons. Why are we so insecure as a nation that we cannot accept these honors that are laid upon us? Have we such a ghetto mentality that we cannot smile and accept a handshake for everything we've done? Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, The Chofetz Chaim zt”l, taught that one should never reject a complement from his neighbor. He taught his students that to refuse a gift would embarrass one’s fellow man which would cause in him feelings of shame and resentment. With the entire Arab World bent on Israel’s destruction and both The EU and The UN having signed a pact do avoid doing anything to stop Iran’s Nuclear Weapons Program...Do we need any more enemies? Can’t we just accept a few kudos from a former NBA-Allstar who’s trying to get his life together?

So here we are, racing through Nissan—The Month of Miracles—towards Pesach. As we prepare for our festival and HaZman Charutanu, let us rejoice in the miracle of freedom. Am Yisrael has been blessed by Hashem and we should be proud of our successes—as most recently noted by Michael Ray Richardson—and thank Hashem for all of his blessings in this and every season. Shabat HaGadol U'M'Vorach v'Chag Kasher v'Sameach!

Rabbi Ninja

Taking a quick break from studying the other week, I was privileged to catch up with an acquaintance of mine. This particular individual is a relatively dangerous fellow—he happens to be the self-proclaimed Sword-Karate Champion of Worcester MA. Granted that there are probably very few people who practice this ancient art from The Land of the Rising Son in my humble Central Massachusetts Town, but I think it’s a fair assessment that anyone who can keep a straight face while introducing himself as a Sword-Karate Champion is at least Steven-Segal-Dangerous on a scale of Mr. Rogers-to-Chuck-Norris-Dangerous. Anyways, this most-likely-deadly acquaintance of mine is planning on moving to Israel and making Aliyah so he was asking me if I knew a good place for him to continue his martial arts training, and it just so happens that I do…

Suffering from a critical case of Night-Before-My-Huge-Infectious-Disease-Exam-Insomnia, I sought to clear my mind with a solid dose of Internet Surfing. Once I had finished all of YouTube's clips of Charles Barkley’s Greatest Dunks, I found myself Googling “Ninja Rabbis” and was directed towards www.abirwarriorarts.com , probably the coolest website I’ve inadvertently stumbled upon at 2AM in the past three-to-four months (besides my own website which is now listed on Google...Haza!!!).

Anyways, the www.abirwarriorarts.com website is devoted to the ancient art of Abir—the official martial arts of Am Yisrael since the time of King Solomon 3000 years ago. Like other ancient traditions lost to many Jewish Communities over the course of this Exile, Abir was miraculously maintained by the Jews of Yemen. Abir is a form of martial arts that combines the grappling of Jujitsu, the striking of Tae Kwon Do, and the defensive maneuvering of Aikido. All of its moves are based on the letters of the Hebrew Alphabet and the signs of The 12 Tribes. Rabbi Yehoshua Sofer—the world’s preeminent Abir Master—is a Temani Jew whose family emigrated from Yemen to Israel following years of persecution. Rabbi Sofer now lives in Yerushalayim where he runs Beit Abir : an amazing half-Yeshiva-half-Dojo institution. At his Beit Abir Academy near the Central Bus Station in Yerushalayim, Rabbi Sofer’s students study Torah and Abir in the path to becoming true Jewish Warriors—minds sharpened with Talmudic study and bodies perfected in hand-to-hand combat. I highly recommend checking out the his website and this video about Rabbi Yehoshua Sofer on YouTube: http://youtube.com/watch?v=b2aGALQqmEc

I would also like to take this as an opportunity to announce that Rabbi Yehoshua Sofer is officially nominated for Doctor Hazak’s “Toughest Jew Since Samson Award.” Stay tuned for more information about this Legendary Competition and please stop nominating Marv Albert as he is currently ineligible (though his courtside interviewing skills are impeccable he is not qualified for participation in the aforementioned prestigious competition at this time).

The Victory of Purim

Purim Sameach Everyone! Welcome to the happiest time of the year! Singing and Drinking and Dancing and Drinking and Eating and Drinking and Drinking and Drinking! Man, what an amazing time...

But of course, in the midst of our revelry we must remember what makes Purim such a happy time for Am Yisrael: Victory over our Enemies. Way back When over 2000 years ago in Shushan, the capital of the Persian Empire, an evil vizier rose to power with the same political platform that has subsequently been used by so many other horrible leaders—Blame the Jews! Is it because we Jews control the world’s economy, poisoned your wells, and gave you chewing gum that caused childhood cancers, or just because we are Jews? (NOTE: The PLO regularly accuses the Jewish People of these charges, including one about chewing gum). Facing the Genocidal Maniac Haman—yamak sh’mo—the Jews rallied around their leaders, Mordechai ben Yair and his niece Ester Hadassah. Then on the very day that had been slated for their destruction, The Jews arose and crushed their enemies in the streets of cities and towns all throughout the Persian Empire in a day-long (or two day-long in Shushan) battle royale.

Mordechai is compared to King David and to Moshe Rabenu Himself for his ability to unite the Jewish People. These three most hallowed Jewish Generals were all wary of the fact that our strength lies not in our numbers (yes as a Jew you are a minority so stop filling out “Caucasian” on your standardized tests) nor in our physical might (besides Boxing Champion Dangerous Dana Rosenblatt). The strength of Am Yisrael is in our Unity and our Spiritual Purity which is why on the day before battle, a Jewish Army observes a communal fast (observed yesterday as Ta’anit Esther).

If our strength is in unity then our weakness is in its absence—whether the lack of cooperation between Jews or the physical loss of even a single Jewish Soul. That is what makes the tragedy of Erez Levanon such a disastrous loss for the Jewish People. Erez, a forty-year-old Breslover Hasid, lived with his wife and three children in Bat Ayin (an amazing community located between Yerushalayim and Hevron). Erez was a musician and a torah scholar whose entire life was dedicated to bringing The Jewish People together. He was constantly involved in reaching out to his fellow Jews even when it took him all the way to the Himalayas where he went every summer to find lost Israeli souls and to bring them back to their own beautiful tradition. The only time that Erez would take for himself was a daily walk into the orchard near his home for an hour of solitude, and hitbodedut/meditation.

Earlier this week Erez Levanon did not return from his daily meditation. His body was found slashed to pieces in the orchard that had provided him with countless hours of clarity and peace. Later that day two Arab men were arrested in the nearby village of Beit Omar. They confessed to sneaking up upon Erez during his silent prayers and brutally attacking him. According to the police report, the two murderers, “were not motivated to kill Erez for any reason other than the fact that he was Jewish.”


So here we are on Purim 5767 and the story repeats itself: Genocidal Enemies seek to destroy us only because we are Jewish. And how much harder is it now to find strength as a nation when we are scattered across the Earth? How much harder to unite without a leader like Mordechai to guide us? How much harder to remain in the spirit of Purim following the tragic loss our fellow Jew, Erez Levanon? Such horrifying chaos and brutality breeds disillusionment, but in all of this there is undoubtedly hope. Though we Jews are separated by all sorts of barriers—language, politics, time zones—we are united as we shed tears for our fallen brother. As we learn more about this amazing man—who awoke every morning to sing songs with the local children on their way to school—we are inspired to live by his example and are strengthened in our resolve to work together to heal our fractured people. And as we remember Erez Levanon and look at pictures of the man who loved Hashem and Hashem’s people so much that he couldn’t stop smiling, we know that no matter what our enemy might try, they will never extinguish the fire of Am Yisrael, and we too will smile.

May his Neshama have an Aliyah and may we all celebrate Purim with the Simcha of Victory in memory of Erez ben Mordecai Levanon.