some things are really hard to explain...

Look at this guy. He looks so good in this suit that you'd probably assume he got himself a court date on purpose just to get this fashionable picture of himself in the news. Sadly this is not the case...Terry "Tank" Johnson (who pays his bills as a starting defensive tackle for the Chicago Bears) was wearing this fine ensemble in order to look presentable as he plead not-guilty to charges that he violated his parole by having an 6 unlicensed firearms in his house. Does anyone realize how ridiculous this is!??!?! The man's name is "Tank" and he is roughly the size of my refrigerator. He's tougher than Robocop and if he punched you in the head, your brain would explode like an over-microwaved lasagna. The cops found over 550 rounds of ammo at his house and the only reason they came was because his neighbors had complained about the 3 pitbulls that he had tearing around in his backyard. But what I really don't understand is why the cops were so surprised to find plastic bags filled with marijuana and hydrocodone (an elephant-strength prescription painkiller) at his house. Obviously he's trying to relax in order to spend some quality time with his two kids and live-in girlfriend.

Given that the world has now reached new levels of insanity, I was not surprised to learn that US Congress just passed a law to give Mahmoud Abbas nearly 100 million dollars to fund his private army. This occured about two weeks after international pressure from the EU and the UN forced the Israeli government to transfer a matching 100 million dollars to the so-called moderate "Abbas." Let us remember that this fellow is the same "moderate" whose PhD thesis was written on The Secret Relationship Between Nazism and Zionism (available in paperback wherever jihadist literature is sold) which rejects 'The Zionist Fantasy, the fantastic lie that Six Million Jews were killed.' So now that Abbas has 200 million dollars at his disposal, do you think that he will use the money to build schools, hospitals, or any sort of infrastructure? Well, it would be nice to think that, but the record proves otherwise and he is pretty excited about training and arming his 1500-Man "Presidential Guard" of Al-Aqsa and Fatah Terrorists.

So the question arises: Why is this shmuck getting so much money? Is it because Jacque Chirac has a crush on him? Is it because Condoleeza Rice wants to borrow his recipe for felafel? Or is it because the Western World is willing to pay whatever it costs to placate OPEC and the Oil Czars of Saudi Arabia. Don't give me the argument that Fatah and Abbas are better than Hamas and Haniyeh because thats just like paying 200 million bucks for a kick in the crotch when you could get an unnecessary appendectomy with a rusty ice cream scoop for free. Does anyone really think that the money that Abbas spends on his guns wont eventually come back to haunt us? (bli ayin hara)

So what can you do? Well, you can start by writing a letter to your congressman, senator, and president telling them that funding terrorists leads to terrorism and that supporting Israel helps to ensure the survival of Jewish Civilians (and gets you a nice seat in the afterlife if you are an Evangelical Christian Zionist). Seems pretty straight forward. You can also get involved in Hasbara (http://israelactivism.com/) and help to plan, promote, and participate in Pro-Israel advocacy.

Epilogue: Willie B. Posey, the late bodyguard of "Tank" Johnson, was killed this week in an early morning shootout following a disagreement at a Chicago nightclub. Ignoring the obvious questions of why "Tank" needed a bodyguard when he had 3 pitbulls, 6 guns, and a Goliath-like physique, I wish to express my sincerest condolences to the family of Mr. Posey.